


Belong

by HK44



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Friendship, Platonic Relationships, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-26 23:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20397826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HK44/pseuds/HK44
Summary: Hey, Remus," Peter whispered, voice hoarse. "If you let me go, I won't come back as a ghost and tell James you're the one who took his clothes."Remus didn't even snarl, just tilted his head curiously. For a moment, Peter exhaled. Maybe everything would be okay after all. Then Remus pulled himself up into a full stand, stooping where the ceiling bumped into him, towering over Peter's five foot four frame with ease.





	Belong

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when you remember how much you like a character at 1am when you should absolutely be sleeping.

Peter stumbled a few feet down to the Whomping Willow. They all had exams the next day, early morning, and Remus had forbade them from following. He had his excuse, would easily be allowed to take it another day, but the rest of them wouldn't have a choice without revealing their very illegal and life-threatening activities.

Still, Peter couldn't sleep knowing Remus was all alone.

He tripped over his tail and landed whisker first in a pile of dirt. Shaking his head, he scampered forwarded. The Willow didn't move an inch, not sending Peter's tiny form inching through the grass. He slipped down the steps before climbing fast up the walls and through a hole into the room where Remus did his best to sleep before the transformation kicked in.

He was curled up tight, chewing on his own leg. The first time they'd seen him this way, he'd been feral, in a rage but too big and too clumsy to do much more than destroy the space around him. His hulking frame couldn't fit through the doorway out of the Willow and if he so much as tried to break it down the Willow would level a branch towards him.

But now, this time, he seemed less angry and almost… pouty.

Peter silently crawled in closer, staying well hidden behind a shattered vase. Remus's ear twitched but he didn't move. Just whimpered and almost barreled down into his curled up self even more.

Peter stepped over, sniffing the fabric beneath him. It wasn't the normal sheets that were there. These ones weren't torn and smelled more like James than they did dirt and dust.

Remus released a loud wail and Peter scampered back immediately. Rolling over in a colossal heap, Remus whined and tore the head of what Peter was confident used to be one of Sirius's chew toys. When he first slid into animagus form, he experienced some teething problems. They didn't last long but the others had panicked bought him a bunch of chew toys to rip into. Sometimes he brought them down to the Willow to try and play with Remus.

He must've left one behind. That or Remus took it, knowing they wouldn't be there to satiate him.

It hit him like a bolt.

Remus was lonely. The shirt belonging to James, Sirius's toy - while his feral mind may not have remembered them, he knew they were his and missed them.

It was why he was whining up a storm versus running at the walls and screeching bloody murder.

Peter wilted. There was nothing of his he could find. No shirt Remus was snuggling into, no toys he was chewing on - nothing. Fair point that Peter often didn't leave anything behind in the Shack but… still.

It didn't shock him really. Remus and him may have been friends first but James and Sirius - they were better than him. They were cooler than him, stronger, smarter. It made sense that Remus would crave their company.

After all, what kind of fun could a werewolf have with a rat? Even when they messed around in the Forbidden Forest, he was always clinging onto someone else, unable to keep up otherwise.

Always unable to keep up.

He shook off his worries. Remus was fine. The check-up went well. Everything was good. 

He crawled up the wall and hopped up onto an empty shelf. As he walked towards his exit, the shelf creaked. Remus stopped in his moaning and twisted over, eyes snapping to where Peter stood in the shadows.

_ Oh crap _ , he thought.  _ Remus is going to be so mad if he remembers I was here. _

Staying absolutely frozen, Peter didn't dare breathe until Remus settled back down into his nest of James's clothes. Then he shifted forward, keeping careful to avoid creaks.

He was halfway to hole in the wall that would be his exit when Remus reared up and threw himself at the wall. Peter let out a panicked squeak as he fell.

Maybe his first thought shouldn't have been to turn human but he'd never been the best under pressure.

He groaned audibly, thankful the fall hadn't been worse. One downside of being such a small animal was always the risk of falling from any height greater than three feet. Rolling onto his stomach, he stood up with shaky legs.

A burst of warm air huffed at his legs.

He froze.

Common sense said to run, to stun, to turn back and flee, but the anxiety-depressed part of his brain that ruled over everything else merely whispered  _ Stay and die, worthless scum  _ and he found himself helpless to do much more than obey.

Remus stalked around him, snarling softly. There were always fascinating things about seeing a werewolf up close that Peter had memorized but that had all been from the point of view of a rat. Now he was human and Remus's teeth looked far more threatening than they did when he snapped playfully at Peter's tail.

"Hey, Remus," Peter whispered, voice hoarse. "If you let me go, I won't come back as a ghost and tell James you're the one who took his clothes."

Remus didn't even snarl, just tilted his head curiously. For a moment, Peter exhaled. Maybe everything would be okay after all. Then Remus pulled himself up into a full stand, stooping where the ceiling bumped into him, towering over Peter's five foot four frame with ease.

He really should've stayed a rat and risked breaking his ribs again.

At least then he might have lived.

"Okay," he said, closing his eyes. "I don't know how much you'll remember when you wake up, but just know it's okay. I don't blame you for eating me." He brandished his quivering arms. "It's my fault really. So. It's okay, Remus. I love you."

There. Maybe the others would've fought their way out with Gryffindor courage but Peter was small and weak. Giving up was his best option. And giving up, especially here, seemed like a much faster death than anything else.

He cracked open an eye when nothing happened. Remus was still towering over him, almost observing him. Finally he leaned down slow but didn't strike. Just timidly pressed his nose against Peter's neck and sniffed.

Like a dog, he fell down immediately at Peter's feet. His hulking paw-hands grabbed Peter and yanked him down into an almost crushing hold but rather than dig into his meal, he simply snuggled Peter close to his chest and let out another wail. Only this one sounded… happy.

Peter paused.

What was happening?

"Um, Moony, not too sure what's happening but I can't breathe," he muttered, shifting back against Remus's grip until he was much more comfortably situated.

Remus stared at him. His eyes seemed to glow. Peter swiped a free hand over his arm, petting him until his eyes fluttered shut and his breathing lulled. After an hour, Peter was still alive and Remus was sleeping.

"Night, buddy," Peter murmured, finally settling in for the night.

The heat from Remus's body warmed him like a thick blanket, the soft snuffles from his nose and the steady throbbing of his heart a sound that Peter could drift off too.

Interesting way for a werewolf to kill its victims but, hey, Remus never was the most normal of all werewolves.

* * *

"I'm going to kill you," Remus growled into Peter's ear.

Peter blinked his eyes open. Remus was still cuddling him and he was definitely alive and not dead or mangled or missing any limbs.

"Huh." He rolled out of Remus's hold. "Do werewolves not eat people? Has that been a lie this whole time?"

"It is definitely not a lie!" Remus shouted, jumping to feet.

In the name of modesty, Peter averted his eyes. "Remus, clothes."

"What in the name of Merlin's saggy tits did you think you were doing?" Remus shouted. He threw his tie, balled up from when he'd undressed himself, at Peter's face. "Why didn't you turn back?"

"Panic," Peter said because that was always a better response than  _ I'm depressed and slightly suicidal. _

Remus glared at him. He averted his eyes again. James and Sirius were great but no one could read him like Remus. And he could only talk about his emotions for so long before he wanted to off himself even more than normal.

"Put on your clothes," he grumbled, rolling over onto his stomach.

Remus huffed. "Put on my clothes," he muttered. "I'll put on my clothes and strangle you."

When he was fully dressed, Peter turned back into a rat and crawled into Remus's pocket. McGonagall stood in front of the Willow. Its branches were frozen but the tree almost seemed to quake with rage.

Quickly Remus hurried out and nodded at McGonagall.

"Professor Slughorn has agreed to set aside your potions quiz for later this evening," she quipped. She handed Remus a small vial. "He'll be expecting you in his office an hour before dinner."

"Thank you, Professor," Remus said, sluggishly teetering behind her.

She eyed him over before turning away. I suppose you had a good night. You seem more relaxed than normal. Less bloody."

Remus went still. Peter's tiny heart pounded. "I- I did," Remus confessed. "I guess I just didn't have any reason to fight myself this time."

Before she continued on, Peter could've swore he saw McGonagall's lip twitched. "That's good. The moon is to last another day. Do you need any assistance?"

"No," Remus said. "I can get down myself, Professor."

She nodded curtly before walking off. Remus slowed to a stop before sliding down to his knees on the pathway. McGonagall didn't turn to see if he was following but Peter had the suspicion this wasn't the first time Remus had stopped to break during his trek back to the castle.

When she was out of sight, he crawled from Remus's pocket and transformed back. He slung his legs over Remus's, the two of them basking in the sun.

"You were warm," he said after a moment.

Remus took a swig from his vial. He swallowed thickly before finally looking at Peter. He took another swig, emptying the bottle.

"Why do you think you didn't kill me?"

Remus looked away. Shame bit into his face like a frost. Peter reached over and forced him to look back at his face.

"I don't know," Remus lied, pushing Peter's hand away from his chin.

"I was worried about you," Peter said. He brushed Remus's hair out of his face. "But I won't do it again."

Remus sighed. The action was heavy, the breath almost heaved out. He fiddled his hands. His scars weren't as faded there as they were other places. In the direct morning light, they seemed to shimmer, the skin raised and smooth.

"You were the first friend I ever had," Remus confessed. "And I couldn't remember you but I knew you were important." He picked at a heavy line on his palm. "And I was going to kill you, I wanted to, but I couldn't because you smelled familiar. And safe. And I knew you were supposed to be there. You're always there and then you weren't and I was... _Upset_"

Peter grabbed Remus's hand. His nail stopped digging into the scar line on his palm. They sat in silence while Peter stroked Remus's scars. Some of them were far too straight to be from claws and teeth but those were fading from the last time Peter brought them up.

Peter kissed one, near the edge of Remus's wrist. Remus shook against him.

"I never feel safe," he whispered. His voice was hoarse. It was as painful to hear as it sounded. "Except when I'm with you."

Lowering his hand, Peter swallowed thickly. "I make you feel safe?"

"You always make me feel safe. Like I'm allowed to belong here," Remus confessed slowly. He dropped his gaze. "I guess maybe there are some things that do stick around when we change." Weakly, he leaned into Peter's shoulder. "But seriously. Never again, okay?"

"Never again," Peter promised. He kissed the top of Remus's head. "Come on. Let's get you to the infirmary and me to my exam."

Remus snorted softly and raised himself to a stand, leaning heavy into Peter's side. As they walked together back to the castle, Peter made sure to keep him supported and move careful and steady.

Like Remus always was with him.

That was the reason they were best friends, he realized, helping Remus into his usual cot near the back of the room, forgoing hunger to make sure he wasn't dying, just like he did every month.

They loved each other.

And that wasn't something physical you could take and board in your misery. It was something you needed in person and snuggling soft while you slept.

It was something you needed from those that made you feel like you belonged.

**Author's Note:**

> No joke, I wish we had better content of Peter's marauder days. I know everyone is supposed to hate him but legit, he is such a fascinating character. What drives someone to betray their best friends? Especially friends who trusted him above all else. 
> 
> It's intriguing don't you think? Anyway, hope you guys liked this rambling 1am mess. I'm gonna go sleep now 😂


End file.
